英语笑话大全

1. Good Boy 好孩子

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

2. Are you going to treat me? 请我吃饭?

An American actress came to China for the first time. One day when she was looking for her new Chinese friend after a performance, she came across an anxious Chinese who had always wanted to practice his English with native speakers, but had never found the chance. When he saw the actress, he went up and exchanged greetings, then started his practice. “How old are you?”

“I’m sorry. Please don’t ask a lady about her age,” the actress said uneasily.

“How much do you earn each month?” the Chinese tried hard to recall this sentence from his textbook.

“Sorry again. We don’t feel like telling others about that either, “ she again refused to answer.

“Have you had lunch?” the Chinese tried again to show his traditional way of greeting.

“No, are you planning to treat me to a meal?’ she asked in surprise.

3. Nest and Hair 鸟巢和头发

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

4. I've Just Bitten My Tongue 我咬了舌头

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

1) poisonous adj.有毒的